IS THERE LIFE AFTER LA MORT?
a previously unpublished hinterview of DocteurlamortQ: So Herr Doktor, you are like a folk hero in no way.
Dr: Hmmm well I'm more of an unfolk hero. or folk unhero.
Q: I mean, it’s amazing you can walk one block in a full-scale riot and you got to almost hand out
lotto tickets with yr face on for a week for anybody to know who you are.
Dr: I know it’s Amazing. And the thing that you should see in the crowds is it’s young and old,
there’s no age thing. Everybody, from all generations, not knowing me.
Knows not the music. People not humming the tunes, eating un-expired pork pies, un-stealing tennis shoes.
Q: Well, how come we can’t see you on TV or hear you on the radio?
Dr: Well there’s a certain thing as a man being too certain.
And I think that’s what has happened.
I’m what the people don't want. I’ll never sound like anyone else cause no one wants to be me.
I ain’t going to do that to myself. I can only sound like myself.
If you don’t like me, it will be my fault,
it won’t be because somebody else sound bad and I sound like them.
Q: This is hard for me to understand.
Obviously you’re a very unpopular guy. Radio stations could lose money if they played
you. TV stations could lose money if they put you on, record companies if they
recorded you.
Tell us the story. What happened? (And this is something that nobody might
be interested in knowing about) You tried to stay independent?
Dr: Undependent.
Q: Undependent?
Dr: That's right. The system un-crushed me.
Q: Give me some examples.
Dr: Well, I couldn’t get a gig anywhere, I couldn’t get into indie music, couldn't even get close to a bonfire guitar jam,
So I just became undependent. Undie music.
The record company was not cutting my records up, and wouldn’t promote them,
and wouldn't even send them out, cause they didn't even know I existed and never had a chance to reject me.
Let me tell you a sad story. A good friend of mine in Fuckstone Records, he's being forced out.
He’s a good friend of mine, you know, and bam! forced him out.
And he’s black, he’s jewish, he's a mute teenage girl and he’s being forced out of his own independent label.
Name an undependent record company? You name one.
Q: Is there one?
Dr: That’s what you’re saying, is there one? None. Maybe, man.
When you were a little kid running around, there were 300,000 James Browns around.
There’s not any now. Only Dick Burgundy. Don Maroon. Burt Red. Stu Peru. Everything has a name, everyone has a colour.
But me I'm as close to James Brown as you can get halfway between purple coffee and orange turd.
Q: So if you’re undependent, you can’t get records out?
Dr: Not a one, not a two.
Q: And how about if you’re undependent, but all your music is U2 samples, can you get on the radio?
Dr: Undependent? nada.
Q: Let’s say you walked in with a shotgun and tape?
Dr: No. Never get it on. Can't see a shotgun on the radio. Can only hear you clubbed to death by Security.
Q: And how about TV? Could you get on TV?
Dr: Totally out of the question. Try me. Nobody would accept it.
I'd do a Coca-Cola commercial, with Jackie & coke and neo-nazi 3D polar bears and blow it.
Q: Do you have a television set? Do you watch television?
Dr: Yeah, I used to unwatch it a little bit, but the way it looks, I don’t really like it that much.
Q: Ok, Radio? Listen to the radio?
Dr: I listen to the Frelon Man Program. I like that.
And the rest of it is just like a bunch of gibberish...
Q: Moving on. What about your music?
Dr: I have recorded nine un-records that you play outside in.
they’re played backwards then. You ever seen that before? You need a special un-record player.
with a special un-needle made out of pure nothingness. The sound quality doesn't change, but YOU do.
Outside-in.
Did you know that I unrecorded these records cause the record company wouldn’t let me record no records.
People around me said I had nothing to lose. I told them I had nothing to un-win.
So I took the unrecords with me and buried them deep inside, in my un-mind.
Not to radio stations or record companies; and nobody could play them. And the demand did not become great, I can tell you that.
Truth is, I never even tried. This is all a big mistake. That's undependence.
Q: How do you feel about dying?
Dr: you mean un-live? well it's a part of Un-Life I guess.
Q: Sure. You know you were sentenced to the gas chamber...
Dr: yeah I laughed really hard at a portrait of the Emperor...
...and then they modified the death penalty to use laughing gas chamber;
Q: were you happy when that was done?
Dr: Was I happy when what was done?
Q: When you found out that you weren’t going to die laughing.
Dr: You talking about dying now, it gets me nervous.
